A Week at the Wall
By Roger King
November 2001
Vietnam Veterans Memorial, Washington DC
I first visited The Wall in the Spring of 1983, it was still new then and most of us were visiting for the first time. I returned to visit the Wall whenever travel or work would take me through Washington DC. In the next 12 years I probably visited The Wall another 10 times, but even when I traveled with others, I always visited The Wall alone. The war was my experience and I was not sure how I should share it with others. Finally, on Veterans Day of 1995, I arranged to meet some Army buddies I had served with in Vietnam 25 years earlier. We had all visited The Wall individually sometime previously, but for all 4 of us, it was the first time we had visited with other veterans.
Visiting the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, or The Wall as we have come to call it, is a very emotional experience when done alone. In some ways it becomes easier to visit with others who shared the experience, but in other ways it is more difficult. Eventually we found we shared not only the experiences of war, but we now share the experience of coming to terms with how to remember that experience.
The wall is located on the National Mall, that wide band of green that stretches from the Capitol building to the Lincoln Memorial. The Mall is over 2 miles long. The Vietnam Veterans Memorial is located on 2 acres of this vast park, near the Lincoln Memorial.
Inscribed on The Wall are the names of 58,218 men and 8 women who died or remain missing in our Nation’s longest war. Among those names are 781 from Oregon. The names are arranged in chronological order, or as is inscribed on the wall, they are listed “in the order they were taken from us”. The dead and the missing are listed together in one continuous list. If a name needs to be added to correct an error or omission, or because death didn’t occur until after the wall was constructed, it is added to the wall in its proper chronological order. Each line originally contained 5 names leaving space for a sixth name to be added as necessary.
The list starts under the date 1959 on the first panel to the east of the center of the monument. From those first few military advisors killed in 1959 the list continues for 70 black granite panels stretching out to the east toward the Washington Monument. From that last inscribed panel on the east end of the wall, the list is continued to the last panel on the far west end of the monument. From there the list continues back toward the center of the monument. The list ends with the last to die in that war right above the final date of 1975. The names were arranged in this order to bring the beginning together with the ending, a sort of closing of the conflict.
There are few other words on monument. At the beginning are these words: “IN HONOR OF THE MEN AND WOMEN OF THE ARMED FORCES OF THE UNITED STATES WHO SERVED IN THE VIETNAM WAR. THE NAMES OF THOSE WHO GAVE THEIR LIVES AND OF THOSE WHO REMAIN MISSING ARE INSCRIBED IN THE ORDER THEY WERE TAKEN FROM US.” The list of names is then followed by these words: “OUR NATION HONORS THE COURAGE, SACRIFICE AND DEVOTION TO DUTY AND COUNTRY OF ITS VIETNAM VETERANS. THIS MEMORIAL WAS BUILT WITH PRIVATE CONTRIBUTIONS FORM THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.”
Last summer I started making plans to again visit The Wall on Veterans Day. It was to be a special reunion for those of us who served in the First Cavalry Division because a movie had just been made about the Division’s early battles in Vietnam, and the producer was scheduled to speak at our reunion banquet. The movie is based on the book We Were Soldiers Once and Young, about the battles of the Ia Drang Valley in November of 1965. The movie was released in March of this year.
Twenty-five years had passed before I was ready to attend any sort of reunion. I had kept in contact with a few close buddies, and I had maintained membership in the association of “alumni” of the First Cavalry Division. Finally, in 1997, I attended my first reunion. It was held at Fort Hood in Texas, where the First Cavalry Division is now stationed. I was impressed with the level of training and professional attitude of the men and women who now serve in the Division. It is a heavy armored unit now. That means everyone has to fit in the tight quarters of a tank or similar armored carrier. We were an airmobile unit in Vietnam, and I still think walking and an occasional ride in a helicopter is a better option than the cramped quarters of a modern tank.
At the reunion, I met several others who were also attending for the first time. I attended two other reunions before I met anyone I had actually served with, but I did meet many others who had served in the same company as I did, but at different times. A unique part of the Vietnam experience was that we were all replacements. No one had to serve more than one year in Vietnam. That meant that out of a company of 125 people, there would be at least 10 people arriving or departing every month. In reality, the turn over was much greater.
In Vietnam, there was neither time nor opportunity to get to know much more than the names of those in the ever-changing company. Some of those who arrived months earlier, left before I ever got to know them. Some were known only by nicknames. Others were killed or wounded before we got to know each other.
I suppose that is why monument is so meaningful to many of us; the names are all there on the wall. Even if we can’t remember, or never knew the name, we know that everyone who didn’t come home is listed there.
So as I made plans to return to Washington DC for Veterans Day, I decided to spend some more time at The Wall. I contacted the National Park Service, which administers the monument, and offered to volunteer for a week.
The Park Service sent me some materials to study in preparation for volunteering. But I knew that learning about the monument and preparing to answer visitor’s questions would be the easy part. Dealing with my own emotions would be a much harder job. On a previous visit I asked a volunteer how he dealt with his emotion. He had volunteered one day a week for the past 19 years. His advice would be helpful, I thought. “Its real hard sometimes” he said. He then told me of his experience helping an elderly lady make a name rubbing. The name was too far off the ground for her to reach, so the volunteer was using a stepladder, making the rubbing for her. He said she appeared calm and seemingly at ease with the visit so he felt comfortable asking her how she knew this individual. “He’s my son,” she said quietly.
I arrived at the Park Service station early on Sunday morning, a week prior to Veterans Day. I had agreed to spend 8 hours a day for the next seven days. They outfitted me with a shirt and cap, which identified me as a volunteer. I was also given a copy of the directory of names. Because the names are listed in chronological order, it can be difficult to find a specific name. The directory lists the names in alphabetical order.
Listed by each name is the individuals rank, branch of service, date of birth and death, and hometown. Finally the panel number and line number where the name can be found is listed. The panel numbers are marked at the base of each panel, and inconspicuous tick marks help keep track of lines counted down from the top of each panel. The center panels are over 10 feet tall, while those on either end taper into the earth itself.
Early in the week I was often the only volunteer on the site. The Park Service staff would occasionally pass by, and at times remain on site to help with the visitor’s questions. One of my primary tasks was to help people find names and to help make name rubbing when requested.
I didn’t expect to have too many people visit the wall for the first time, and I never expected to have to deal with family members of those on the wall. Certainly, I thought, they would have made visits before, and would not need too much help on return visits.
Most of the visitors were tourists visiting many sites in our Nation’s capital. The number of foreign tourist surprised me. I had expected to see many school groups visit, but the events of September 11 had decreased the number of groups visiting. Perhaps the total number of visitors was low for the season, but I had no previous experience to compare. There was a steady flow of visitors. I arrived about 9 am each day so that I would be ready to leave about 5:30 or 6 in the afternoon. It starts to get cooler in the late afternoon and the number of visitors decreases.
Several times I helped people from small towns who came with a list of everyone listed on the wall from their town or county. There were never more than 8 or 10 names on these lists. Some had lists of all those from their high school who are listed on the wall. None of these actually knew any of the names, but they were remembering. Other visitors were looking for a name of the son of someone they knew, so for at least the first few hours I was spared dealing with someone who had a personal connection with a name.
Finally, guys about my age started to arrive, and asked for help finding a name. Most didn’t ask for more help than finding the name, and I knew they wanted to deal with the visit alone. One can tell those who are looking at a name of a buddy they once stood beside in war.
Over the next week I learned a great deal more about the wall and the names on it. On two separate occasions I met and helped sons find their fathers name on the wall. Their stories were very similar. Their parents had been married only a short time, in one cases they got married just before he left for Vietnam. One of the sons told me, his father died without knowing he would be a father.
Later in the week, the number of visitors started to increase. Thousands would attend the memorial services on Veterans Day and many of those were arriving early. One afternoon a woman asked me to help find a name. When we found the name, there was a wreath standing in front of the panel. “That’s the wreath from the funeral,” she said. I asked her to tell me how this came about and she continued to tell me the story. The name was her cousin. He was killed in action in 1967 and his body had been recovered. However, the helicopter, which was transporting the remains on the first leg of its journey home, crashed.
The crash site was never located until last year. With the cooperation of the government of Vietnam, we continue to have search teams in Vietnam. Eventually her cousin’s remains were recovered and identified. She told me his parents had both died in the ensuing years. She is now the closest relative. The day before, her cousin was finally buried in Arlington Cemetery.
Several hours later two men asked if I could help find a name for them. We arrived at the same spot, the panel with the wreath. They too said something about that being the wreath from the funeral. I told them about the young lady who had been there earlier, but she was not looking for the same name. I then learned there had been three bodies on that helicopter, and in fact I was talking to two survivors of that battle. They had helped load the helicopter. Now they had returned for the burial in Arlington, and to visit the names of their buddies on the wall.
Another visitor pointed out his buddy’s name. His friend had been seriously wounded in 1967, but didn’t die from those wounds until after the wall was constructed. His name was added to panel 14 East, right next to the others who fell on that same day. Another visitor pointed out the only name on the wall that has listed Ireland as his hometown. In fact, I was told, 21 men and one woman listed on the wall were born in Ireland. A Finish student asked me to help find a name, and I learned about an immigrant from Finland who became an Army officer and was killed in the early years of the war.
When time permitted, usually in the late afternoon when I was alone at the wall, I would search out the panels with which I have a connection. I looked a long time at the names on panel 2 and 3 East. These panels contain the names of over 300 troopers from the First Cavalry Division who were killed in the battles of the Ia Drang valley in October and November of 1965. That was four years before I became a part of the war. Later in the week I would join many of the survivors of that battle at a banquet in suburban Washington DC.
On panel 42 East, line 41 is listed Ronald Allen Slane, a 20 year old combat medic from Lincoln City. Ron and 48 others from his company of the 25th Infantry Division died on March 2, 1968 in one of the single most costly battles of the war. Ron had previously earned the Silver Star for gallantry in action. A conscientious objector, Ron enlisted in the Army and died carrying a medic bag in place of a rifle.
A farm boy from Iowa is listed on Panel 13 West along with others who died in February of 1970. I never knew him, and we served in different units. But we shared the experience of being in Vietnam at the same time, and we shared the same birthday. His birthday ended in our 25th year when a friendly artillery round detonated in the trees over his head. His story was told in the book Friendly Fire.
Somewhere else on Panel 13 West is the name of a young trooper from Bravo Company, 1st Battalion, 12th Cavalry Regiment, First Cavalry Division. I stood next to him seconds before his death. I never knew his name; he had arrived only two days earlier. Those of us who had heard the distinctive sound of an enemy mortar before shouted “incoming”. That’s all we could do, but it was not enough.
The Vietnam Veterans Memorial is called the wall that heals. It was intended to help individual healing and to heal the nation and bring it together after the divisions of that war. One person said it was to help people separate the war from the warrior. As our nation once again looks to heroes to stand in harms way, I think about the injustice to the 58,226 names on the wall. For a long time their heroism was clouded by the political controversy that surrounded the war. But all that started to change with the dedication of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in November of 1982.
I know from my experience at the wall, it truly is the wall that heals. By the millions visitors come to the wall with quiet respect for the names listed there. The political differences, which once separated us, are no less important now. But at the wall, we can join together to honor and remember those who gave their lives and those who remain missing.
Webmaster Note: Roger served in Company B,1/12th Cavalry from December 69 – April 70. While remaining to be assigned to the Division, he completed his tour as an instructor at the Armed Forces Language School, Vung Tau Annex. He departed Vietnam in November 1970.